I anxiously awaiting news whether or not I have been accepted into an MFA program. Anxious for news because I don’t know if I am more afraid of getting an acceptance or a rejection.
I made the short-list so of course I am extremely proud of making it that far. What caught me off-gaurd was the interview. Somehow I did not know that was coming. Damn Video chat! Its so hard sometimes to fill in the particulars of why I do what I do, and I have had little practice actually talking about it…with words, in front of complete strangers, evaluating, and determining how it will fit in with the task they have been assigned, of bringing a diverse, talented group of artists together.
I have spent an incredible amount of my time simply perfecting how to avoid talking about the ideas. I much prefer the easy questions about process, the how of what I make and not the why.
So I stumbled. I froze. When faced with “how do you situate your practice in relation to contemporary art”, all my doubts came flooding to the surface. What?? I love contemporary art but I have always seen it as a far off unattainable thing that real artists do. That maybe someday, what I do might be considered a part of it, hmmm I don’t really think I am there yet. Can you please help me understand how it all works. How do I get from here to there?
At the time of the interview I had spent exactly 48 hours in the place I am to call ‘home’. I was feeling the farthest thing away from being situated anywhere. I was in a bit of a fog. Floating. Actually, it was more like the snowstorm happening outside. Soft, thick snowflakes, mesmerizing and softening the cold.
Yes I hope to making more art here. The interview, the short, technically riddled call, made me start to think about things in a new way. Made me realize my situation, my approach to navigating this new city and culture is not only just what I do to connect, to move through my day, it is what I ‘practice’ each day. The art, is just the trail I leave behind.